February 05, 2007

~ Randomly...

On the mrt ride to my BI class just now, I saw someone whom I thought looked a little like DP. DP from PL. All these acronyms because DP is in politics. As if that matters... hmm.

Anyway! This sad wave of nostalgia just swept past me. Of all people to miss, I started to miss DP. Haha. Honest. I missed the way she addressed us the very first time we gathered at the multi-media room for our welcome. I missed how she kept emphasizing 'in this school, there is no management; we work as a team." I missed the way she would smile at us in the beginning, a smile of encouragement.

She's an admirable woman. I still admire her for her foresight and her passion and how driven she is. Even if she did neglect the details for the big picture. But, who can be perfect? How many of us never even had a big picture and struggle with the details all our lives?

Coincidentally, I bumped into Mr Gan at Bishan CC just now. We had a short chat. I seem to bump into him quite easily. The last time, on the MRT. It felt very familiar chatting with him, about gym, about the kids in PL, about some of the pioneer teachers in PL, about my short but impacting stint in PL.

Sometimes, I still miss PL and the people in PL, the time I had in PL and the time we shared in PL till I had to shut my eyes tight, blast my mp3 player a little more and try not to cry in public. Sometimes, it takes a bit more to disengage from the past and engage in the present.

xxx

'Sharon is so sweet.' The exact words I smsed Hadrian just now.

She so excitedly passed me a book, the book that she's reading now, and folded a page and wanted me to read that page. She wanted me to read that page. Only when I left her shop and got back in my office. Then, sent me off to get my lunch, with two small map of 'food bible' that she drew for me.

The page she wanted me to read was on feelings. On loss and grief. On changes and how we shy away from the tides of change because there had been too much of change in our lives. On how sometimes, pain feels permanent and it feels like we would never recover and never stop feeling the hurt. On how we have got to feel what we feel, not deny nor minimise them. Only then, can we let go. And a new beginning awaits.

I really appreciate it. It put a genuine smile on my face as I read through the page, a few times during lunch.

It's when a friend does the simplest of act and the most thoughtful of gesture that I get reminded of how blessed I am.

Like, when I received the letter from Meisen last Wednesday. It made my day, really.

Thank you, you all.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:47